Category: General

When it comes to marriage, many people look at wealth, beauty, family background, or social status. But in Islam, there is a better way. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) gave us clear guidance. He said: “A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her noble ancestry, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman, otherwise you will be a loser.” (Bukhari). This is the famous prophet’s hadith on four qualities. The same advice applies to men as well. So how do we actually choose a partner based on deen first? This article will give you simple, practical steps.

Many young Muslims today feel lost. They see friends marrying for looks or money, only to end up unhappy. Others follow modern dating culture, which often leads to heartbreak. But Islam offers a better path. When you choose a partner based on deen first, you build your marriage on a strong foundation. Religious commitment affects everything: how a person handles arguments, raises children, spends money, and treats their spouse. That is why the prophet’s hadith on four qualities remains so important for every single Muslim.

So what does it mean to choose a partner based on deen first? It does not mean you ignore other things. Beauty, wealth, and family background are not forbidden to consider. But they should come after religion. Think of religion as the root of a tree. Without strong roots, the tree will fall when strong winds come. Similarly, without religious commitment, a marriage will struggle during difficult times. When both spouses fear Allah and follow Islam, they forgive each other, communicate kindly, and work through problems together. That is how you start building a happy muslim family.

Let us look deeper at the prophet’s hadith on four qualities. The Prophet (peace be upon him) mentioned four things people usually look for: wealth, ancestry, beauty, and religion. Then he clearly said that religion is the best choice. Why? Because wealth can disappear. Beauty fades with age. Ancestry does not make someone kind or honest. But marrying for religious commitment first means you choose someone who prays, fears Allah, has good character, and will be a just spouse. That person will treat you with mercy and respect, even when life gets hard.

How do you know if someone truly has religious commitment? Here are some practical tips for single muslims searching. First, observe their prayers. Do they pray five times a day on time? Do they take prayer seriously? Second, look at their character. Are they honest in small things? Do they control their anger? Third, ask about their knowledge of Islam. Do they try to learn and grow? Do they follow the Sunnah? Fourth, see how they treat their parents and neighbors. Religion is not just about rituals. It is about good behavior with everyone. These islamic courtship advice and tips will save you from many problems later.

Another important point when you choose a partner based on deen first is to involve a wali (guardian) from the beginning. In Islam, there is no secret dating or private meetings. The wali protects both people from falling into haram. He helps you see things clearly. When you have a wali present, you can ask serious questions about religious practice, family goals, and daily habits. This is part of islamic courtship advice and tips that many young people ignore today. But ignoring it leads to emotional attachment without commitment, which often ends in pain.

The prophet’s hadith on four qualities also teaches us to be patient. You might meet someone who is very beautiful or rich, but if their religious commitment is weak, think carefully. A beautiful face will not comfort you when you are sick. A big house will not raise your children with Islamic values. But a spouse who fears Allah will stand by you in good times and bad. That is the secret to building a happy muslim family. Many older Muslims will tell you the same thing: they wish they had focused more on deen when they were searching.

So what questions should you ask when you choose a partner based on deen first? Here are some examples. Ask: How do you handle it when someone wrongs you? Do you forgive for the sake of Allah? Ask: How important is it for you to raise children who pray and read Quran? Ask: What does haya (modesty) mean to you? Ask: How do you spend your free time? Do you watch haram content or listen to music with bad lyrics? These are not uncomfortable questions. They are necessary. This is real islamic courtship advice and tips that will protect your future.

Sometimes people worry that focusing on deen means marrying someone who is boring or too strict. But that is a misunderstanding. The best Muslims are those who balance this life and the next. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was kind, playful with his family, and had a good sense of humor. When you choose a partner based on deen first, you are not choosing someone dull. You are choosing someone who knows their purpose in life: to worship Allah and to be a loving spouse. That person will make you happy in this world and the next.

Let us talk about tips for single muslims searching online. Many people now use websites and apps. This is fine as long as you follow Islamic rules. Always keep a mahram aware of your conversations. Do not meet alone. Ask clear questions early. And do not delay marriage unnecessarily. If both families agree and the couple is compatible, perform the nikah soon. Long “talking stages” without commitment often lead to problems. Remember the prophet’s hadith on four qualities and use it as your filter. Ask the potential spouse: Why do you pray? What does your relationship with Allah look like today?

Another key part of building a happy muslim family is choosing someone who will help you grow in faith, not pull you away. If your potential partner discourages you from praying, fasting, or learning Islam, that is a big red flag. If they mock religious practices or find them extreme, run away. A true Muslim spouse will remind you gently, pray with you, and encourage you to do good. That is the beauty of marrying for religious commitment first. You become each other’s support system toward Paradise.

Now, what about the other three qualities in the prophet’s hadith on four qualities? Are they completely useless? No. Islam allows you to look for beauty and wealth as well. But they are secondary. Think of them as extra blessings. The Prophet (peace be upon him) advised men to look at a woman before marriage, so that love and harmony may grow between them. Similarly, financial stability is helpful. But these things should never override deen. A person without religious commitment will misuse their wealth or their beauty. So always choose a partner based on deen first, then consider the rest.

For sisters reading this: the same advice applies when you choose a husband. Do not marry a man just because he has a good job or comes from a famous family. Ask about his prayers, his honesty, his treatment of women, and his willingness to provide for the family in a halal way. The prophet’s hadith on four qualities is for both genders. A man who does not pray will not lead a happy Islamic home. So be brave. Do not feel pressured by family or society. It is better to wait than to marry someone who will take you away from Allah.

Finally, here is a summary of islamic courtship advice and tips based on the Prophet’s teaching. First, make dua constantly. Ask Allah to bless you with a righteous spouse. Second, pray Istikharah before any serious decision. Third, involve your wali from day one. Fourth, ask deep questions about religious practice and character. Fifth, be patient and do not settle for less than marrying for religious commitment first. Sixth, trust that Allah has a plan for you. And seventh, take action. Do not just wait. Search in halal ways.

Call to Action (CTA)

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If you are serious about choosing a partner based on deen first, visit zawaaj.com.ng today. Create your free profile. Answer honest questions about your religious practice. And start your journey toward a blessed marriage that follows the prophet’s hadith on four qualities. Do not delay. Your future happy family is waiting. Join zawaaj.com.ng now — the smart, halal way to find love for the sake of Allah.

Finding a spouse in Lagos for Muslim singles can feel like a big challenge. The city is huge, life is busy, and many people do not know where to start. This guide is here to help. Whether you are new to the search or have been looking for a while, this article gives you practical advice. We will look at halal ways to meet people, how to stay safe, and how to build a happy family. Finding a spouse in Lagos for Muslim singles requires patience, trust in Allah, and a clear plan. Let us begin this journey together.

Why Lagos Makes Matchmaking Unique

Lagos is a busy city with over 20 million people. There are many Muslims here, from the Mainland to the Island, from Ikorodu to Badagry. But meeting a good, practicing Muslim for marriage is not always easy. Work takes most of the day. Traffic makes it hard to attend mosque events. Many people also worry about mixing with the wrong crowd. This is why Muslim matchmaking in Lagos complete guide for singles is so valuable. It gives you a roadmap. You do not have to guess what to do. You can follow clear steps that respect your faith and your goal of a happy family.

The Halal Way to Search for a Partner

In Islam, dating as it is commonly known is not allowed. But this does not mean you cannot get to know someone for marriage. The correct way is called Khitbah, or courtship with a Mahram (a male guardian) present. When you are searching for future partner as Muslim in Lagos, you must keep these rules in mind. Never meet a potential spouse alone. Always have a family member or trusted friend nearby. Keep conversations respectful and focused on marriage topics. Avoid late-night calls or secret chats. Following these rules protects your heart and your reputation. It also brings blessings from Allah into your search.

Where to Meet Other Single Muslims in Lagos

Many people ask, “Where do I even start?” Here are halal places to meet single Muslims looking for marriage in Lagos:

1. Your Local Mosque: Many mosques in Lagos have marriage committees. For example, the Lagos Central Mosque, NASFAT, and Ansar-Ud-Deen societies often keep lists of serious singles. Ask the Imam for help.

2. Islamic Events and Lectures: Events like Ramadan talks, Eid fairs, and Halaqahs (study circles) are great places to meet people. Go with the intention of learning, but also be open to introductions.

3. Family and Friends: Do not be shy. Tell your parents, uncles, aunties, and close friends that you are ready to marry. In Lagos, community networks are strong. Someone always knows someone.

4. Halal Marriage Apps: Apps like Muzz and Salams are used in Lagos. But be careful. Always involve your Wali early. Do not share private photos or send money.

5. Work or School Muslim Groups: If you work in a large company or study at UNILAG, LASU, or other schools, join the Muslim fellowship. These groups often have marriage seminars and introductions.

Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Once you meet a potential spouse (with a Mahram present), you need to ask the right questions. Many people only ask about job, salary, or car. But searching for future partner as Muslim in Lagos must go deeper. Here are sample questions:

• About Faith: How do you practice your Salah? Do you fast? Do you read Qur’an? Do you pray Tahajjud?

• About Family: How do you treat your parents? What is your relationship with your siblings? Where will we live after marriage?

• About Money: Are you in debt? How do you save? Do you expect your spouse to work?

• About Children: How many children do you want? How will you raise them Islamically? Will you send them to Islamic school?

• About Conflict: What happens when we disagree? Do you shout? Do you give silent treatment? Are you open to counseling?

Write these questions down. Take your time. A good person will not rush you. They will appreciate that you are serious.

Red Flags to Avoid

Not every person who seems good is good for you. As part of Muslim matchmaking in Lagos complete guide for singles, here are warning signs:

• They hide you from their family. If after several months you have not met one family member, be careful.

• They ask for money or gifts early. A serious spouse will not ask you for loans or expensive phones before Nikah.

• They disrespect your Mahram. If they complain about your father or brother being present, they want to hide something.

• They have a bad temper. Watch how they talk to waiters, drivers, or their own mother.

• They rush for physical intimacy. This is a major red flag. A God-fearing Muslim will wait until marriage.

How to Involve Your Wali the Right Way

Many Lagos singles avoid involving their Wali because they feel shy or think their parents will say no. This is a mistake. Your Wali (usually your father) is your protector. When you are single Muslims looking for marriage in Lagos, you must tell your father or guardian early. Say, “Dad, I have met someone. I want you to help me check them.” If your father is not available, an Imam or an older brother can be your Wali. Do not let shyness stop you from doing things the halal way. A good Wali will ask hard questions that protect you from heartbreak later.

The Role of Istikharah and Dua

You can do everything right and still feel unsure. This is normal. That is why Allah gave us Salat al-Istikharah (the prayer for guidance). Pray two rakats and ask Allah to make something good for you if it is good, and to turn it away if it is harmful. Do this more than once. Also make dua regularly. Say, “Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dhuriyyatina qurrata a’yun” (Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfort to our eyes). Never stop making dua. It changes qadr (destiny).

How to Build a Happy Family from Day One

Marriage is not just about the wedding. It is about the 50 years that come after. When you are searching for future partner as Muslim in Lagos, think long-term. Here is how to start building happiness from the first day:

1. Agree on House Rules: Who pays bills? Who cooks? How will you spend weekends? Talk about this before Nikah.

2. Plan Your Islamic Calendar: Agree to pray together. Plan to read one Juz of Qur’an per week together. Attend Jumu’ah as a couple when possible.

3. Set Financial Goals: Save together for a house, for children’s education, for Hajj. Avoid unnecessary debt.

4. Protect Your Tongue: Never insult each other. Never share marital problems on social media. Be each other’s safe place.

5. Keep Learning: Read books on Islamic marriage. Attend webinars. Go to couples’ Halaqahs. A growing marriage is a happy marriage.

Common Mistakes Lagos Singles Make

Learn from others’ errors. Here are frequent mistakes in Muslim matchmaking in Lagos complete guide for singles:

• Waiting for “The One” to magically appear. You must be active. Make calls. Attend events. Tell people you are ready.

• Comparing every person to an ex. That is unfair. Each person is a new creation of Allah.

• Ignoring the family background. A person can be good, but if their family is full of drama and disrespect, it will affect you.

• Rushing the Nikah because of age pressure. It is better to wait one more year for the right person than to rush and divorce in six months.

• Not praying Istikharah. Many people rely only on feelings. Feelings can lie. Istikharah never lies.

A Step-by-Step Action Plan for You

If you are serious, follow this plan starting today:

Step 1: Make wudu and pray two rakats. Ask Allah to help you find a righteous spouse.

Step 2: Write down your top 5 non-negotiables (e.g., “prays five times daily,” “has no debt,” “respects my parents”).

Step 3: Tell three trusted people (parent, Imam, close friend) that you are searching.

Step 4: Join one halal platform. This could be a mosque marriage committee or a supervised app.

Step 5: When someone is suggested, involve your Mahram from day one.

Step 6: Meet in a public place or family home. Ask your prepared questions.

Step 7: Pray Istikharah repeatedly. If you feel peace and obstacles clear, proceed. If you feel constant difficulty and unease, walk away.

Step 8: Once both families agree, set a Nikah date. Do not delay without a valid reason.

Final Advice for Your Journey

Finding a spouse in Lagos for Muslim singles is not impossible. Thousands of good Muslims marry every year in this city. They face the same traffic, the same family pressure, and the same fears. But they succeed because they trust Allah and they take action. Do not sit at home waiting for a dream to knock on your door. Get up. Make dua. Make Istikharah. Tell your Wali. Attend that mosque event. Answer that halal introduction. Your future spouse may be praying for you right now. Do not let them wait too long. May Allah bless every sincere single Muslim in Lagos with a loving, righteous spouse and a happy family. Ameen.

Many single Muslims dream of a happy family, but few stop to define what that actually means. If you do not know what a happy family looks like in Islam, how will you recognize it when it comes? Before you begin your search, you need a clear picture. You need to know what pleases Allah, what makes a marriage strong, and what you are truly looking for. This article will help you define a “happy family” Islamically. It will also guide you with steps to find a righteous spouse, offer Islamic tips for marriage preparation, and show you how to build a happy Muslim home from the very beginning.

What Does Islam Say About a Happy Family?

In Islam, happiness is not just about feelings. It is about peace, mercy, and love. Allah says in the Qur’an: “And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find peace in them, and He placed between you love and mercy” (Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21). A happy family is one where spouses find peace in each other. It is a home filled with mercy, not shouting. It is a place where children are raised to love Allah and His Messenger.

Many people search for beauty or wealth first. But a truly happy family is built on taqwa (God-consciousness). The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. So choose the one with religion, may your hands be rubbed with dust” (Bukhari and Muslim). The same applies to men. Therefore, one of the first steps to find a righteous spouse is to prioritize faith over worldly attractions.

Step One: Define Your Islamic Vision of Happiness

Before you start talking to any potential spouse, sit alone and write down your vision. Ask yourself: What does a happy Muslim morning look like? Do we pray Fajr together? Do we recite Qur’an as a family? How do we handle anger? Do we follow the Prophet’s example of kindness?

A happy family Islamically is not perfect. It is a family that turns back to Allah after mistakes. It is a home where the husband and wife remind each other of Allah, not just of bills or chores. This vision will guide your search. It will help you filter those who do not share your goals. This is one of the most powerful Islamic tips for marriage preparation: know your why before you look for your who.

Step Two: Know That the Spouse Is the First Brick

You cannot build a happy family alone. Your spouse is your partner. So before marriage, you must ask deep questions. Does this person want to pray at home? Do they believe in gentle parenting? Do they respect their parents? Do they control their tongue during arguments?

One of the best steps to find a righteous spouse is to ask about their daily routine. A righteous spouse wakes up for Tahajjud. They guard their gaze. They speak softly. They do not hold grudges. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was the best example. He helped his wives in housework. He joked with them. He never hit them. If you want to know how to build a happy Muslim home, study the Prophet’s home. Then look for someone who tries to follow that example.

Step Three: Make Du’a and Istikharah Your Tools

Many singles rush into meetings without enough du’a. But du’a is the weapon of the believer. Before you even begin your search, ask Allah for a spouse who will help you build a happy family. Ask for a spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes. Ask for a spouse who will enter Jannah with you.

The Prophet taught us to ask Allah for good in this life and the next. So add this to your daily prayers. One of the simplest yet most powerful Islamic tips for marriage preparation is to make du’a during the last third of the night. Also pray Salat al-Istikharah before every major decision. Istikharah is not just for after you meet someone. Pray it before you even start searching. Let Allah guide your heart.

Step Four: Learn Your Islamic Roles and Rights

A happy family is built on justice. Islam gives clear rights to husbands and wives. The husband must provide financially in a kind manner. The wife has the right to her own money. Both spouses must treat each other with respect. Neither should oppress the other.

Unfortunately, many problems come from ignorance. A man thinks he can control his wife like a slave. A woman thinks she can disobey her husband without reason. Neither of these is Islamic. So before marriage, study the book “The Rights of Spouses in Islam” or take a class. This is essential Islamic tips for marriage preparation that too many people skip. When both spouses know their duties, arguments decrease. Mercy increases. That is how to build a happy Muslim home on a solid foundation.

Step Five: Discuss Parenting Before You Have Children

You cannot define a happy family without talking about children. Many couples discuss everything except parenting. Then after children arrive, they fight over discipline, school, and religion. Do not let this happen to you.

Ask your potential spouse: How would you raise a child who refuses to pray? Would you hit? Would you talk gently? Would you lead by example? The Prophet never hit a child or a woman. A happy Muslim home uses patience and wisdom. So before you say “yes” to marriage, make sure you agree on parenting. This is one of the most practical steps to find a righteous spouse that protects your future children.

Step Six: Look for Emotional Maturity and Forgiveness

No marriage is without problems. The difference between a broken home and a happy family is forgiveness. The Prophet said: “The strong is not the one who overcomes people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger” (Bukhari). So when you are getting to know someone, look for emotional control. How do they react when plans change? Do they apologize quickly? Do they hold grudges?

These are signs of a person who knows how to build a happy Muslim home. A happy home is not free of mistakes. It is full of apologies and forgiveness. If you want a happy family, marry someone who forgives easily and does not stay angry. That is true strength.

Step Seven: Make the Home a Place of Worship and Peace

Finally, remember that your home is not just a building. It is a place where Allah’s name is remembered. The Prophet said: “The example of a house in which Allah is remembered and the house in which Allah is not remembered is like that of the living and the dead” (Muslim). So before marriage, discuss how you will keep Allah alive in your home. Will you play Qur’an in the mornings? Will you have family halaqas? Will you thank Allah together for every meal?

These small actions are the secret to long-term happiness. And they start with intention. So as you search, keep asking: Does this person want the same kind of home? Does this person value prayer, gratitude, and gentleness? Those who answer yes are the ones worth pursuing.

Conclusion

Defining a happy family Islamically before you search will save you from years of regret. You will not be fooled by a pretty face or a fat wallet. Instead, you will look for faith, kindness, and emotional maturity. You will follow the steps to find a righteous spouse by prioritizing religion. You will apply Islamic tips for marriage preparation like du’a, Istikharah, and studying rights. And you will focus on how to build a happy Muslim home through forgiveness, parenting agreements, and remembering Allah together. May Allah grant you a spouse who brings you peace, and may He make your home a garden of Jannah. Ameen.

I was talking to a group of ladies and i asked them, why a lot women don’t enjoy SEX in marriage and this is what they have to say .

Gents let’s read carefully and learn from what our women are saying !

1) As women ,we have been hurt a lot in marriage to an extend that our feelings towards our husbands died a long time ago so sex becomes a burden and something nit enjoyable.

2) When a man cheats, sex for us becomes disgusting.We just do it because we are still married, but the truth is that, we are so bored during intimacy with cheating husbands.

3) Some of our husbands are very unromantic.They don’t even know how foreplay works and they just rush to penetrate which makes sex painful and boring.Spend more time on romance gents ,we enjoy it more than penetration.

4) He spends the whole day without checking on you,then he comes home and focus on his phone but at night he start touching you .Who does that ? At least communicate with me then i can be in the mood

5) How can you enjoy sex when you are not even kissed,touched,massaged or pampered before sex .How do you expect me to be in the mood.

6) A man watches you over-working in the house and doing everything alone without any help,then at night he expects you to be a porn star.With what strength after working like a donkey ?

7) Our men don’t even know that, when you are not emotionally well,sex sucks.You don’t care about my emotional state yet you want me to perform in bed,that won’t happen. Be emotionally available and be supportive gents.

8) Our men are too proud to ask about the things we love during sex.They will be busy sweating amd breathing heavily whilst we feel nothing.We just pretend and make some sounds as if we are enjoying yet we are so bored and wishing that they finish and allow us to rest.

9) Most men are selfish,all they care about is their ejaculation then they sleep.Most of us (women) don’t even know what an orgasm since we got married because they don’t care about our own pleasures as women.

10) How can i enjoy sex with a man who smokes and drinks but after that, he doesn’t brush his teeth or freshen up.This is why sex is disgusting.

11) Some of our men are not hygienic at all. Imagine that a man spends a day at work ,running around and sweating but when he comes home, he gets in the blankets without showering and expect you to enjoy sex.Our men should be serious !

12) Our men should know that we need affection. You can’t expect me to enjoy sex when i’m not receiving affectionate love.Take me out on romantic dinner date and see if we won’t enjoy intimacy after that .

Ladies ,you can add more in the comment section,we are hear to learn and our husbands are listening .There is a list from men too that is coming up .

#Marital Bliss

Mothers are gold and fathers are mirrors “Iyaniwura,baba ni jigi”This is what I have been hearing since I was a child.I later understand the meaning when I grow up.
To be sincere,you cannot underestimate the efforts and sacrifice of a mother to that of a father.You can understand me better if you are opportuned to witness the efforts and sacrifice of a mother when any of her children is sick or physically challenged.
What of the stress and rigour of pregnancy for nine months?what of the pain experience during child birth?My dear brothers,let us appreciate our wives.
A man came to holy Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) and asked him:”who should I do good to”?The prophet answered :”your mother”.The man asked this question three times and the Prophet answered:” your mother”.It was the fourth time that he said your father and those that are closed to you.There are lots of wisdom in this Hadith.We cannot compare the sacrifice of a mother to that of a father but that doesn’t mean we should abandon our fathers who have taken the pain to spend their hard earned money on the family denying themselves the comfort of this world.
My advice to our wives is that, they should be appreciative and never turn our children against us, biko, I beg you oo.
Men should avoid unnecessary jealousy towards their wives when the children are closed to them.It is natural for a child to love his mother, he stays in her womb for nine months and suckles her breast for two years,she backs him for years and she makes a lot of sacrifice till the child grows up.
Let me be frank with you,there is no way your children can love you if you maltreat your wife and turn her into punching bag.
Avoid unnecessary rivalry with your wife.Be sincere with her and see what Allah will do for you.
May Allah bless our parents aamin.
Akande Ayinde Mutiu Abu-l-Hassan .

Talking to each other all the time, sharing hobbies and denying yourself everything for the sake of your children is not necessary.

The rules of a happy relationship are a popular topic for articles and discussions. But if universal advice existed and stereotypes worked 100 percent of the time, there would be nothing to talk about. In fact, every family situation is unique, and only you can determine which principles will be relevant to you. Whereas it’s easy to make mistakes in the pursuit of an abstract ideal relationship.

Here are a few universally accepted rules that you can and should break with a light heart.

1. You need to share each other’s hobbies

If you do not have anything in common, then when the first passions subside, it really can become a problem. However, do not expect complete coincidence of hobbies. Having different hobbies and interests is perfectly normal. And to keep something personal, belonging only to you, is also useful. This avoids dissolving into your partner and promotes healthy autonomy.

In the end, the relationship can end. That said, some hobbies and hobbies should remain part of your identity, not just a couple’s tradition. Otherwise, you will find yourself not only without a partner, but also without personal interests unrelated to his/her persona. This is a sad situation that does not allow you to distract yourself from your favorite activities, because everything around reminds you of the completed relationship. It’s much better if even without the Iron Man suit you are still a playboy, millionaire and philanthropist.

You can not get into the hobbies of others – leave the other alone, and yourself. You do not have to feel enthusiasm for birdwatching or soccer just because it interests your loved one. But if you care about your partner, you can feel warm feelings about being inspired and excited about it. Even if they are doing something that you wouldn’t do even if they paid you to do it.

2. A couple should have a common space.

In Sparks of Joy, Japanese cleaning expert Marie Kondo advises to surround yourself with things that bring positive emotions. For singles, this is a fairly easy task. But when territory has to be shared with someone else, other people’s things can cause real resentment. For example, if the partner collects souvenirs that seem ugly to you, or clutters up the corridor with equipment, the purpose of which for you is unclear.

In this case, Marie Kondo advises to touch the guilty items and imagine what emotions they evoke in your loved one. This helps to develop empathy, and at the same time come to terms with the things that annoy you, but dear or useful to your partner. And if it’s not possible to overcome rejection, you should separate the space so that everyone has a place where you can do anything.

Let each have his own corner for storing personal belongings and his own office.

To do this, do not necessarily have a huge house. It’s enough to competently zoning out the room, making use of appropriate storage systems and those parts of the apartment that are usually not taken into account, such as the loggia.

This applies not only to adults, but also to children. It is much easier to clean your toys if they have their own home with a permanent address.

3. Thoughts and feelings should be shared.

Total honesty and complete separation of feelings – it is a wonderful illusion, which, however, encroaches on personal freedom and can cause fights over nothing.

The need to voice to a partner all thoughts and retell the slightest mental movements can indicate that personal boundaries are blurred. Sometimes this happens with people who did not fully separate from their overprotective parents, and then projected their relationship with them onto their partner. Awareness of the dialogue (Why am I saying this to the other, what reaction do I expect?) is reduced in this case. Whereas a harmoniously mature person begins to take personal responsibility for his or her emotional state and thinks about how meaningful people will perceive his or her words.

Suppose, life suddenly seemed dull and meaningless, or you were visited by doubts about whether you are a good couple. Voicing their not fully formed negative experiences, you can sigh with relief and go to sleep. But the mood of the other person will be spoiled, or he will make a far-reaching conclusions. In this case, your mindset can completely change tomorrow.

Speak on potentially serious topics, when you have already decided what you want to say and why. And a therapist or psychoanalyst is better suited for solving your internal problems than your partner.

Important: The rule does not work if you are depressed. In that case, it really is better to talk.

4. Problems are better to solve in bed.

Myths about marital relations: Problems are better solved in bed.

Among our close relatives – chimpanzees – there is a species of bonobo that prefers to resolve all disagreements through mating. Moreover, even members of the same sex do so. As a result, the level of aggression in their communities is evident.

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The word Zawaj is used in the Quran to signify a pair or a mate. But in common parlance it stands for marriage. Since the family is the nucleus of Islamic society, and marriage is the only way to bring families into existence, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) insisted upon his followers entering into marriage The Shari’ah prescribes rules to regulate the functioning of the family so that both spouses can live together in love, security, and tranquility. Marriage in Islam has aspects of both ‘Ibadah (worship) of Allah and mu’amalah (transactions between human beings).

In its ‘Ibadah aspect, marriage is an act pleasing to Allah because it is in accordance with his commandments that husband and wife love each other and help each other to make efforts to continue the human race and rear and nurse their children to become true servants of Allah.

In its mu’amalah aspect, marriage being a lawful response to the basic biological instinct to have sexual intercourse and to procreate children, the Shari’ah has prescribed detailed rules for translating this response into a living human institution reinforced by a whole framework of legally enforceable rights and duties, not only of the spouses, but also of their offspring.