JAPA SYNDROME & NIKKAH

Couples aren’t enlightened enough on how relocation will affect the dynamics of their marriages so many don’t plan for it. It’s becoming a trend to find people moving and a few years later the marriage is dissolved.

Understand, marriage in your home country is different from marriage abroad in different critical areas. A typical example is the authority of a husband. Unfortunately, many wives go abroad holding a grudge and a revenge plan even to the extent of involving law enforcement.

Many of the marriages that fail abroad already were poor back home with many wives poorly treated and voiceless. Imagine suddenly being in an environment that empowers you, enables you and protects you. This is a nightmare for power drunk husbands.

Another reason is finance. Contrary to popular belief, the life abroad is not as easy as people think back home. Yes, you get paid but you work for your money. This means that you both need to work to balance out. A situation where a wife who used to be poor or unemployed suddenly finds a much better paying job means a husband used to controlling with money suddenly cannot do that anymore which changes the dynamics of the marriage. This is the point many complain about a wife that got arrogant or changed abroad without being able to state exactly how.

The work shifts for many are round the clock meaning the togetherness of the family can also be affected. New friends means new influence and sometimes new habits including infidelity.

Add all the above together and it can prove difficult for many to navigate. That is not to say every family will break, many get stronger for it, it’s just a case of how enlightened you are on what’s coming and how united and transparent you stay to each other.

S. Giwa

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