The unfortunate situation with most brothers and sisters getting married is that, they flirt before the eventual nikah. It is religiously wrong to go romantic before marriage, if you do, you will lose your mind. Do not flirt with him or her on phone or physically; intimacy, romance and sex can only be achieved between opposite sexes through marriage.
She was approached to be a second wife, and along the line, the man and the lady got entangled, totally forgot the principle of the religion. They exchanged romantic voice notes, nude pictures etc. He is a married man, the wife checked his phone, she saw unprintable messages between her husband and the sister being proposed to be a second wife, then she has a reason to doubt their intentions.
In the morning, the wife called the sister who billed to be a second wife, “you are a prostitute, you do not have shame, you are sending your nude video and picture to my husband, this is total nonsense, olosho, oloshi, oloriburuku, husband snatcher, you cannot destroy my home”, and she went on. It’s obvious the sister did not do well by allowing the man to make her flirt, but what about the husband, who lacks a firm hand.
Many sisters going in for second, third or fourth wife need to be principled, because some men are not decent, they will only make you a subject of ridicule before their first wives. While, the first wife referred the incoming second wife, as ‘olosho (prostitute), then she replied, ‘they have told me your story too, sister first wife, you got pregnant before nikah, your first child was born out of wedlock, did your husband marry you a virgin, you are here insulting me.”
Sisters actually need to be mindful of how they insult, abuse and curse themselves, if this trend should continue, we will be creating a dangerous precedence. It is obvious the men can be very wrong with their activities, but the part you play as the wives will determine the outcome of the situation.
Polygyny is amazing, nothing is wrong with it, but those who want to practise it must be persons of character, because it can become a problem when parties are not sincere in their dealings. The husband and the wives are Muslims, so where is teaching of the Deen if we cannot live in peace.
Always pay attention to details.
Abu Sheikh
