Most times when a marriage is in trouble, people tend to see their Marriage as a mistake rather than seeing the mistakes they are making in their marriage. At this point they regret marrying their wife or husband, begin to think of a new partner, imagine marrying their ex or fantasizing a marriage without issues.
Some even divorce or remarry and later wish they had remained with their first Spouse, as they find greater trouble in the new spouse. This is because the first marriage was not a mistake, and the mistake has not been discovered yet.
So you can remarry as many times as you like, you will still experience problems in marriage until you discover the mistakes you are making in your marriage and correct them.
So divorce or separation is not a solution to consider when you are having problems with your marriage.
When your car has a flat tyre, you do not abandon it, but repair the tyre and move on.
When we have a headache, no matter how excruciating, we do not cut off the head but take care of the headache.
When a bulb blows out in the room we do not change the room or the house, we replace the bulb and light up the room.
When we have challenges at work, we do not refuse to go to work, we go there to solve the problems.
So when marriage has an issue, we don’t have to try to change the spouse instead of changing the attitude that is creating the problem.
Most times when we see some couples enjoying their marriages and enjoying each other to the fullest, we admire and cherish them, but the opposite is seen in our own marriage. The reason is that some people have worked on their marriage by paying the necessary price and that is why they are enjoying the fruits of their labour. It is said, “The way you make your bed is the way you will lie on it”.
Your marriage is as good or as sweet as you make it. Some couples, because of the negative things they are seeing in their marriage, accuse each other of being responsible. They point accusing fingers at each other for being responsible. Some even say many bad things about their spouse, even calling him or her names; some think that marrying that man or that woman was a mistake.
It is not so, your marriage was not a mistake, but you are the mistake.
Your habit is the mistake
Your character is the mistake
Your manner, anger, unforgiveness, laziness, lack of love, lack of affection, lack of attention, impatience, bitterness, selfishness, ignorance, stinginess, not being considerate, infidelity and lovelessness are the mistakes.
Talking about Bitterness.
Some still dream of a marriage with their ex seeing your spouse as a stumbling block. Wake up and smell the coffee. Be content with your spouse. That behavior is your mistake.
Steps to fixing a mistake in your marriage
Mistakes are inevitable in any relationship, and marriages are no exception. However, it’s not the mistake that defines the relationship but how the partners respond to it.
Fixing mistakes in a marriage requires both partners to take responsibility and work together to resolve the issue. Here are some steps to fixing mistakes in your marriage:
Acknowledge the mistake
The first step to fixing a mistake is acknowledging it. Both partners need to recognize that something has gone wrong and take responsibility for their part in it. It’s essential to avoid blaming each other and instead focus on finding a solution.
Apologize
Apologizing is crucial to repairing the damage caused by mistake. A genuine apology shows that you recognize the hurt caused by your actions and are willing to take responsibility for it. It’s essential to apologize sincerely and avoid making excuses or justifying your actions.
Communicate
Communication is key to fixing mistakes in marriage. Both partners need to express their feelings and concerns in a healthy and respectful manner. It’s essential to listen to each other’s perspectives and avoid getting defensive or dismissive.
Take action
Words alone are not enough to fix a mistake in a marriage. Both partners need to take action to address the issue and prevent it from happening again. It’s essential to work together to come up with a plan and take concrete steps to implement it.
Forgive
Forgiveness is the final step in fixing a mistake in marriage. It’s essential to let go of the hurt and resentment caused by mistakes and move forward together. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting but rather choosing to focus on the future instead of the past.
So get up now and build your marriage because it is not a mistake.
Divorce or separation are never options unless it is LIFE threatening.
While Islamic teachings encourage preserving the marriage, divorce (talaq) is permissible as a final resort when marital harmony cannot be achieved and the relationship has broken down irreparably. The intent behind allowing divorce in Islam is not merely a “mean for peace,” but rather a practical solution to end a state of persistent conflict and harm, thus allowing both partners to seek peace and well-being outside the failed marriage.
I Beseech Almighty Allah to bless all marriages.
Aamin.